I bought this book 14 years ago while on an Erasmus programme studies at Trinity College Dublin where I was finishing up my MA thesis on four contemporary Irish novels with child narrators. I was planning to continue at a PhD programme back in Prague at my alma mater and my focus was going to be the bildungsroman in Irish contemporary literature. This book was part of my reading list for the dissertation. My PhD studies ended after one year due to a cold realisation that I am not the right type to do a full-time job and study in my spare time. I am still dreaming of winning a lottery and going back to school…

A TLS article about Brian Moore’s short stories made me pick up this novel and I had great expectations as I was reassured by a dear literary friend that it was very good. Well, it felt slow and tough going. I could not really ease myself into the white angel/black angel sitting on the shoulders of the main character thing. I kept reading and reading wondering what the point of it all is, wondering if I like Gavin Burke, if I care about what happens next. On top of this, the edition I had (bought second hand and dating back to 1965) was not edited, or was edited by a sleeping editor as there were a variety of misspellings and blatant grammatical mistakes. Still, I plodded on having blind faith in my literary friend and the Irish talent to spin a yarn.

I was rewarded. The last forty pages are a tour de force. The first three quarters of the book depict 18-year-old Gavin joining the Belfast Air Raid Precautions team as a first aider during World War II. Everyone laughs at him as no one believes Hitler would take any interest in Northern Ireland. Gavin’s father, a Catholic lawyer, even openly supports Hitler as he, surely, has to be better than the British. ‘All this guff about Hitler being a menace to civilization is sheer English hypocrisy. The things we’ve seen them do.’

Gavin does not give up even though he may be doubting his choices, he seems to feel the need to prove himself to himself more than anyone else as nobody would question if he decided to quit. He may not understand why it is important to him but he doggedly follows his need to persevere. He shakes the fear of his father and the insecurity of going against his family’s expectations off of him. He realises he does not believe in God and he does not mind upsetting the people close to him in order to stay true to himself. He may not understand why he does and says certain things but he recognises his need to follow through with them nonetheless.

When the air raid starts everything falls into place. Not just for Gavin and the people around him but for the reader too. Even the silly angels suddenly make sense and a newly forged adult emerges out of the confusions and frustrations of an adolescent.